ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
