The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
