I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
