Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
