There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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