Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you inspire me to be a worse person
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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