she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
