You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
