so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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