coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
