at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
