You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize