can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
