i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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