I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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