I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize