I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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