I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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