your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
so much tequila, so little girl.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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