Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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