in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Your cock deserves a montage
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
