there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
