Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Actions speak louder than pants.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
