I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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