You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
