Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize