There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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