If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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