I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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