im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
