I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
