What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
