I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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