Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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