I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize