This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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