Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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