Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
