If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
