only if we run a train.
done.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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