i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
