i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
