She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
