ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
