I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize