Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
