Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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