If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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