The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize