I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
