Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
operation have a gay friend backfired
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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