Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize