My room smells like vodka and shame
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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