I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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