Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
