marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
