he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
