Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Where is the hickey?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
