You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
high people should be assigned attendants
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
