Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
