im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
