how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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