my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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