rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
